Friday, January 10, 2025

Gift From a Gorgon

A gorgon offers a guy a present topped with a snake tied into a bow. Guy: I am somewhat suspicious of this gift.

Such good little snakeys.  

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Friday, January 3, 2025

A Good Point

The princess of Balloon Land is cursed that before evening on her sixteenth birthday, she'll prick her finger on a spindle and die. The king points out that as balloon people, any of them would die if they got pricked by anything. Including the wicked fairy. After one of the soldiers holds up a needle (to make a "point"), she cancels the curse and makes a hasty retreat. Evil fairy: I curse your princess! Before evening on her sixteenth birthday, she'll prick her finger on a spindle and die! King: We're balloon people. Any of us would die if we got pricked by anything. Including you. A soldier smirks and holds up a needle. Fairy (making a hasty retreat): Curse cancelled! Have a nice day!

Let's assume the knight has a permit for that. 

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Saturday, December 28, 2024

Hanukkaaaaaaaaaah!

Things you're not allowed to do at Hanukkah: -Roast marshmallows over the menorah -Substitute poutine for latkes -Actually gamble during the dreidel game -Refer to the Maccabees as the "Macca-honey-bees" -Weaponize the menorah in any way, shape, or form -Be deliberately impertinent in your spelling of the word

But let's be honest - all of these have probably been done at some point. 

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Tuesday, December 24, 2024

Christmas Candles

Animated GIF of a family of dragons using fire breath to light candles for their Christmas tree.

Merry Christmas! 

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Friday, December 20, 2024

Barn Dance

Barnyard goats "help" Santa when he comes to visit on Christmas Eve. "Dear Santa: The cookies are for you. There's hay in the barn for your reindeer. Merry Christmas!" Also in the barn...

They're helping!  Maybe! 

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Friday, December 13, 2024

Franken-Sense

A catastrophic misunderstanding leads to some kids performing a Nativity pageant to interpret frankincense as "Franken-sense" (carried by a Frankenstein's monster), and myrrh as "mer" (carried by a merman). Kid narrator: And the wise men brought gifts of gold, franken-sense, and mer. Adult: I promise, I had nothing to do with this!

An innocent misunderstanding, or a joke gone horribly wrong?  You decide. 

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Friday, December 6, 2024

Kiss and Miss

A vampire hangs out under the mistletoe at a Christmas party, and people are suspicious. "Why do I doubt that a kiss is all he wants?"

Just a hunch. 

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