Friday, July 31, 2015

The Awkward

Three teenagers watch a movie  Oh no  covers eyes  I can't watch  He's not really going to  he is  Mom: Are you at the scary part  Teenager: Worse  The awkward part  Is it over yet  Why would you do a stupid thing like that

You know the part.  The hero (or his socially-impaired sidekick) says or does something that everyone else - in and out of universe - knows is stupid and embarrassing, but can't do anything to stop and are therefore forced to cover their eyes and wait out.  The official term for this is "cringe comedy."  Emphasis on "cringe." 

Friday, July 24, 2015

Meow Mixed

Little girl dresses up pet cat  Here you go, Princess Glitterfluff  Aren't you the prettiest little thing ever  Adult relative: Um  You know that the princess is a boy, right  Girl: No she's not  I reject your reality and substitute it with my own  Cat holds sign: Help me

Therapy and emotional counseling will probably be needed, although we're not yet certain if it's for the cat or for the kid. 

Friday, July 17, 2015

Rainbow Apocalypse

Earth explodes in colored sparkles  On that fateful day, sprinkles across the globe gained sentience and rose up against humanity  The planet did not survive the aftermath  But on the bright side, it was a very pretty explosion
 
And thus was the cradle of humanity destroyed by a burst of sugar and color.  And it was glorious. 

Now I can justify eating sprinkle-laden ice cream as protecting mankind from destruction. 

Friday, July 10, 2015

Super Vampire!

Superhero vampire protects vampre from hunters  To the rescue, it's Super Vampire  Sworn defender of defenseless vampires everywhere

Having a pearly-white heroic smile doesn't have quite the same effect when your skin is almost just as pale. 

So what kind of powers does a super vampire have, anyway?  Super speed?  Super stealth?
Super slurping? 

Friday, July 3, 2015

Carrots Work

Andrew and Anni Seed watch fireworks  Andrew: So you somehow turned a bunch of carrots into fireworks  Anni: Well, they're shaped like rockets, aren't they  It seemed pretty obvious to me  Want to light off another batch
 
Anni Seed returns, this time risking getting arrested by the reality police for using vegetables in ways not intended by nature.  Oh well.  At least the result is pretty and festive. 

To my fellow Americans, Happy Independence Day!  To everyone else who might be reading this, make up an excuse, grab some fireworks, and light them off.  Because fireworks!