Dilettante Comics: January 2022

Saturday, January 29, 2022

Flight and Fight

Honeybees hold a Sting in the Ring MMA tournament. In the winter, honeybees stay warm by flexing their muscles to generate heat...

Winter night's alright for fighting.

Friday, January 21, 2022

Will Power

A family gathers for the reading of a will. Executor: Thank you for coming to the reading of Mr. Telgemeier's final will and testament. (glances over it) Oh my... (Will): I, Melvin Myer Telgemeier, being of sound mind, do hereby bequeath the entirety of my earthly posessions to the winner of a contest. This will be between my sister, Telma Wicks, my brother, Brier Telgemeier, my nephew, Jason Telgemeier, and my cat, Pitbull. The contest will consist of a rock battle on top of double-decker busses filled with grizzly bears and driving at 50 MPH through the streets of Brooklyn. Fireworks will launch from the busses at 5-second intervals, and all competitors will be required to wear scuba gear and helmets made of aardvark jerky. But if you guys are wimps and decide that's not legal enough for you, Telma gets the house (and cat), Brier gets my books, Jason gets my guitar collection, and the rest goes to Make-a-Wish. Executor: Just to be clear, it isn't even remotely legal. Telma: Oh, thank goodness. Jason: Aww!

Makes you wonder what exactly his definition of "sound mind" is.

For maximum effect, imagine "Bat Out of Hell" as the background music for panel #4.

Friday, January 14, 2022

Customer Disservice

Vampire gets kicked out of an all-you-can-eat restaurant

There's abusing the privilege, and then there's this.

Friday, January 7, 2022

Packing It In

Wolves drag in an increasingly absurd variety of "kills" from the hunt. Elephants, narwhals, B-17s... Alpha: Looks like we have a good haul this time! Do you need help with that? Wolf: I've got it! Beta: Hey, I passed by the park ranger on the way here, and we might need to keep an eye on him. I've never heard him squeak like that before. Alpha: Hmm. I'll look into it.

Wolf eating habits are a turn-off to most people, but this meal might be worth attending.

Saturday, January 1, 2022

Poor Timing

Alien spacecraft are suddenly caught in a flurry of fireworks. Humans: Happy New Year! Alien Leader: Abort the invasion! Retreat! Retreat!!!

Darn those humans and their festive pyromania!

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