Monster Mash

The monster under the bed is going to need a new job.  After he's released from the hospital, that is. 

Dorm-Cleaning Theater

Arm yourselves with bleach and steel wool, soldiers.  It's going to be a long war. 

Twenty Swords, Zero Sanity

Are fencers really this nuts?  Yes. 

Before anyone asks, "zombie broadsword" is a game of sorts attributed to my brother and a group of other freshman fencers, in which each player takes a PVC pipe-and-foam sword and hacks at the others until their arms fall off either figuratively or literally.  I'm pretty sure it won't be showing up at the Olympics anytime soon. 

The scary thing is that this isn't the weirdest thing that happened in my high school fencing club. 

High School Lesson #7863

No, really.  The structure for the twelve-bar blues is so straightforward that it can be easily adapted for literally any situation.  Here's how:

1.  Write a line describing the situation.
2.  Repeat it.
3.  Write a rhyming line that completes the thought.
4.  Sing the whole thing to these chords:  I-I-I-I / IV-IV-I-I / V-IV-I-I.
5.  Done! 

...So, as an example:
I'm sitting at a laptop, writing posts for my website,
I say, I'm sitting at a laptop, writing posts for my website.
If I get it done, maybe I'll finally get some sleep tonight.

Now, go sing some blues, people!