Friday, October 26, 2018

Your Permanent Record

Sedna meets with a recently-deceased man and reads his report, with the help of her seal friend.  Sedna: I'm afraid we have to send you to "Anti-Stupid Camp."  Man: Say what?  Sedna: Simply put, the nature of your death indicates a crippling lack of common sense.  You won't be permitted into the afterlife until you improve it at least a few points.  Man: Stop messing with me.  It wasn't that bad.  Sedna: To impress some friends, you attempted to dive from the top of a moving bullet train into a very narrow canal.  Can you see the problem here?  Man: ...I'm dead?  Sedna: You are extremely dead!!!  Thanatos (leading the man away):  Relax.  If you do well enough on your first assessment, I won't make you wear the clown wig.  Behind them, Senda grumbles about Darwin Award winners while her seal comforts her.

Learn in this life so you don't have to learn in the next one.  And also so you can continue having this life.

This is the final Deities of Death cartoon for the year, so I wish you a happy Halloween, along with the hope that you never run into Sedna and Thanatos under these (or any) circumstances. 

Friday, October 19, 2018

Packed and Ready

An old man drags the Grim Reaper off to the afterlife:  You're late.  Grim: Wait, what-?

Some people try to bargain with death.  And some guys care more about punctuality.  Not really sure which group needs their priorities straightened out. 

Friday, October 12, 2018

Security Measures

Hel details the massive amount of security she has around her place: My new security protocols include five walls made of solid ice XI, a maze filled with booby-trapped icicles, a moat of lava I diverted from Muspelheim, and Garmr's unit of skullhounds.  What do you think?  Baldr: You really hate solicitors, don't you?  Hel: Oh, that's nothing.  Here's my plans for if my dad breaks out of jail.  (Baldr's wife, Nanna, sits next to him eating an ice cream sundae)

If you want to sell Tupperware in the underworld, you have to go through Hel first. 

Hel is joined by Baldr and his wife, Nanna, both of whom got booted down to her domain following a certain unfortunate incident involving Hel's father.  Actually, it's Loki's fault that all three are stuck down there, so ripping on him at every opportunity is free game. 

Friday, October 5, 2018

Cerberus Satellite

Persephone tries to watch TV, while Cerberus wears a three-way pet cone.  Persephone: Hades?  Your dog keeps messing with the TV signal.  Hades carries him off: Three more weeks until the stitches come out... Three more weeks until the stitches come out...  Persephone: Cheer up.  If you put him on the kitchen table, we can pick up Hallmark Channel.

He may be an immortal three-headed dog, but he still has to suffer the consequences of trying to chase the Nemean Lion up a tree. 

October is here again, and with it the annual Deities of Death marathon.  Rejoice! 
...or something.