Friday, February 22, 2019

Cleaning Up

Anni and Andrew are browsing a convenience store just as a guy is trying to rob it.  Robber:  Hand over everything you've got!  And don't try anything funny.  Anni:  May I?  Andrew:  You may.  When the police finally arrive, they find that Anni has...  Cop:  You mopped the floor with him... literally?  Robber:  Can I go to jail now?

The laws of funny are not a force to be trifled with, nor is the cartoon deer who will exploit them at every available opportunity. 

Friday, February 15, 2019

Rite of Passage

A 20th-century mom embarrasses her kid by showing off his baby pictures to his date.  Mom:  ...And here's some pictures from when he was three.  Date:  Nice bubble-mowhawk.  Son (double-facepalming):  Mother!  A 21st-century mom embarrasses her kid by showing the dumb comments he posted online as a highschooler to his date.  Mom:  ...And here's some comments he posted online when he was fourteen.  Date:  I didn't know you were so passionate about Warriors.  Son (about ready to tear his hair out):  MOM!!!

A picture is worth a thousand words, what you put on the internet can and will be held against you, and never underestimate a mother's resources.

Friday, February 8, 2019

Out of Order

Steve and Mel order food at Pulsar Pasta.  Worker:  So that's one rotini with Martian marinara sauce, and one fettuccine with Altair alfredo.  What else can I get for you today?  Steve and Mel notice several vampires congregating outside the building.  Both:  Extra garlic.

There's several reasons why Steve and Mel frequent Pulsar Pasta, and this is one of them. 

Friday, February 1, 2019