Friday, April 26, 2019

High School Lesson #2156

The janitor confronts the crazy geometry teacher: I summon the forces of order and cleanliness to smite you!!!  High School Lesson #2156:  Don't make an enemy of the janitor.

Yes, this is a continuation of last week, because I think we all knew it was coming.  The insanity plea can only pacify the janitor to a certain point when there's fry sauce on the walls. 

Friday, April 19, 2019

Friday, April 12, 2019

Scream Sundae

Mel starts out working on her homework at the kitchen table, but as Carmine starts gathering ingredients, she gets both queasy and uncomfortable, and eventually packs up and heads out the front door.  Carmine:  Let's see...  strawberries... blood sauce... pecans... black pudding... whipped cream... giblets...  Mel (to Pearl):  She's celebrating getting a good grade on her test.  Carmine:  This ice cream sundae will be the pinnacle of modern achievement!  Pearl (entering the apartment):  Is that haggis?

Anything theoretically edible can be used as an ice cream topping.  That doesn't mean it should be. 

Friday, April 5, 2019

Cretaceous Concert

Student:  Here's the piece I wrote.  Do you think we can play it?  Band Director:  Let's have a look.  "Concerto for Parasaurolophus."  Interesting concept.  So how are you going to replicate dinosaur sounds?  Student:  Umm...  The director notices that the score has a part written for an actual Parasaurolophus.  Director:  I recall that the court ordered that time machine destroyed.  Student (grinning sheepishly):  Technically it's a different one.  Behind them, some other students try to lead a Parasaurolophus into the room.

After the sheet music mix-ups, frozen French horns, jalapeƱo jam, flood, and tromboon, you'd think that high school band couldn't get much weirder.  Challenge accepted.

At least it ought to get him extra credit in both band and science class.