Give the Dog a Bone

That's pretty good handwriting for a dog.  

House Grouse

To be fair, the circumstances in which these statements would actually be desirable are very minimal. 

Toast

 I have a feeling the smoke alarm gets a workout around here. 

End of the Rope

 Closely related to the Golden Rule is the Piñata Rule:  "Handle piñatas of others as ye would have them handle yours."