Pets vs Boyfriend: My Human's Keeper

To win a girl, you have to go through her father.  If her father is not available, you have to go through her siblings.  If siblings are not available, you have to go through her roommates.  And in the absence of the above, her pets will take up the mantle. 
And pets don't follow the Geneva Convention.


Of course, then there's the possibility of having to face up against all four groups at the same time, in which case it's probably better for everyone involved if you just leave the state while you still have all your limbs. 

High School Lesson #5294

And you might even get extra credit in your computer class! 
Unless, of course, the situation involves your computer lab teacher in the first place, in which case trying to help might just seal your doom. 

In the Bag

Perks of being a cartoon character include being able to actually have the bottomless bag that everyone and their dog wants. 

One Fang, One Horn

All the mystique associated with narwhals doesn't change the fact that their name literally means "corpse whale." 
Also, because the horn is a tooth (specifically, the left tooth), it's always on the left side instead of being centered.  Though there are occasionally narwhals with two horns (or tusks), so they're more symmetrical. 

Question and An-Sir

 

By my count, this comic contains a total of twenty-five puns, not counting the title.  I regret nothing.  Probably because I'm sleep-deprived.  But my point still stands.  You can regret them as much as you like, but that's your problem.