Friday, November 23, 2018

Clean Out of Options

Mel rushes into the apartment: The manager's coming to do a clean check!  Pearl: What's the big deal?  Carmine: I like her.  She's kind of like everyone's grandma.  Mel: The assistant manager is coming with her.  Carmine: We're doomed!!!  Pearl pushes the couch against the door: I'll hold them off.  You guys clean!  Mel: I'll make the beds!  Carmine: I'll clean up that blood spill!

The manager is a nice lady who knows everyone's names and brings you a cookie when you're having a bad day.  The assistant manager will give you a bad day.

Friday, November 16, 2018

Dishing It Out

Girl 1:  Do you think he'll ever leave?  I don't think he's good for her.  Girl 2:  Well, they've been going steady for a while.  Jess enters.  Girl 3:  Hey, Jess?  We're wondering if you're planning on breaking up with your boyfriend.  Jess:  What boyfriend?  All roommates point to the huge pile of dirty dishes.  All:  Him!!!  When your dirty dishes become an entity unto themselves, it's time to start washing.

When passive hints don't get the message across, roommates start getting aggressive. 

Friday, November 9, 2018

Friday, November 2, 2018

Out of the Bag

Vampire cat lady: Yes, my children.  Tonight we feast!  Bystander looking through window, calling on a cell phone: Hello, Officer?

There is only room in this neighborhood for one crazy cat lady, for that is the natural order of things.  Unless another emerges victorious, there won't be a neighborhood left
We need a hero.