Friday, September 27, 2019

Written in Chalk

A student writes lines on the chalkboard as punishment.  However, the sentence he's writing says he won't repeat a ludicrously specific incident.  "I will not sneak into the administrative offices, steal a book, and use it in an arcane ritual that rips a hole between dimensions, thereby releasing horrors onto campus, disrupting class, angering a local horde of vampires, and terrorizing a bus full of puppies."

When you need to drive home the fact that a student has just exercised an appalling lack of common sense, and you're not allowed to make him flat-out write "I am an idiot" a hundred times, there's this. 

Friday, September 20, 2019

Waxwork Like Clockwork

girl 1 (flipping through TV channels):  Dance in the Wax Museum.  Could be good.  girl 2:  I'll pass.  I don't like horror movies.  1:  You know this one?  2:  Never heard of it.  1:  Then how do you know its a horror movie?  2:  Are there any light, fluffy, happy movies that center around wax museums?  1:  ...No...  2:  Then it's a horror movie.  Later:  girl 1 enters the room where girl 2 is reading a book.  Girl 1 is wide-eyed and frazzled.  1:  It was a horror movie.

Having a building full of uncannily realistic yet distinctly un-alive figures is off-putting enough without the history behind some of the stuff associated with wax art.  You know, like death masks.  And voodoo dolls.  And recreations of disease and anatomy for medical students.  And the "chamber of horrors" which a significant percentage of wax museums possess. 
Honestly, it would be a lot weirder if there weren't any horror movies involving them. 

Friday, September 13, 2019

High School Lesson #0008

High School Lesson #0008:  Watch where you're going.  (a guy stops a girl carrying a huge pile of books from walking into a wendigo)

Face it, a lamppost is not the worst thing you could run into (and facing it will help prevent you from running into things in the first place). 

Friday, September 6, 2019

Claws for Concern

Hikers see a cougar, a buffalo, a bear, a moose, and several wolves (one writing a Will) up a tree, hiding from something.  "I have the feeling we're not appropriately terrified."

If some wolves start coming after you, don't run, because if you run, they will chase, and they're a lot faster than you are. 
But if some wolves are running from something else...  run like there's no tomorrow, or you really might not see it.