Dilettante Comics

Saturday, July 4, 2026

Paint the Town Red, White, and Blue

A city block has been painted in American flag colors, including the people, plants, and animals. This wasn't necessary. Oh, it absolutely was. Happy Independence Day!

Celebration will be mandatory! Happy 4th of July, and happy America 250!

Saturday, May 30, 2026

Cretaceous Cruising

A father and his daughter watch a group of dinosaurs taking his car for a joy ride. Man: What did I say about playing with time travel? Daughter: That I shouldn't? Man: Correct.

Shouldn't have left the keys in the ignition. Do you think insurance covers this?

Friday, April 3, 2026

Home Decor

A songbird looks at a nest of colored Easter eggs, and eyes a rabbit that's peeking over the branch with suspicion.

Just a little light decorating.

Happy Easter!

Friday, February 27, 2026

Awful Lawful

Things an attorney doesn't want a witness to say: "I don't actually have a legal name." "The following testimony is going to be entirely false." "No, I'm pretty sure the incident happened in Septober." [zalgo black speech]"Ẉ̵̮͕̻̖̰͓͎̫͇̻̻̘̩͖̳̮̈̊́̓̾̅̽̏̈́͊̈͆̆͐̌͑̊̀̕h̴̛̪̻̣̭̣͉̰͉̼̼̙͎͍̗͚̦̏̒̓̈́̆̐̄͑̀̈́̌̎̀̈̚͝a̵̧̫̝͉̦͉̩̱̞̜̔̀͑̑̇ṯ̶̨̢͖̬̤̮̭͖͔͕̗̘̲̩̻̑̔̈́̍̊͛͆̌̀̽̀̎͊̏͛̚͝͠ ̷̨̨͙͉͎̜̮̗̥̞̙͚̖͕̲̤̞̏̆̂̑̄̾͊͆́̑̓̏̍̐͜͝a̶̧̡̢̧͇͎̭̻̣͔̳̩͚̬̠͓̼̰͇͉̲̎̓͐̅̿͋͆̚͜͠͠͝n̶̡̡̛̤̜͚̙̺̫̲̪̻͍̟̳͑̀̎̔̋̍͗̔̿̌͊́̿̒̅̏̕̚̕͜s̸͉̜͐́̌̈̃́̊͂̊̃̿̆̃́̌̅̇̽͂͛͜͝͠w̴̨̯̠̪̦͇̠͙͍̹̻̌̔̄͐͛̀͌̌̋͛̏͗̏͝ė̴̢̛͕̣͉͓̻̪͓̞͙͈̓̀͐̈́̑̈̋̄r̸̢̛̻̞̥̹͓̥̜͎̬̈̈͑̄̀͐͋̅̀͑́̑́̆̓̈́̓̇ ̵̥͍̠̰͓̩͔̞̗̯͓͈̙̻̳̺̯̹̱̀̀͊̈́̐͂͌̎̓̇̑̈́̔͂̚̚͜͝ḑ̷̰̺̰̪̣̪̩̻̭͗͑͜ͅơ̶̢͈̜̼̥̱͔̙̫͈̄̉͋̾͗͗͛̔̀̇̀̄̄̄̕͠ ̸̨̢͖̯͕̳̙̟̻̠̳͍͔̖̜̩̪͙͙̗̐̃̂̾̅͜͠y̷̢̛̜͈̠͋̅̌͗̈́͌̈́͒̓o̷̯͔͈̯̣̺̬̘̻͇͉̪̮̻͒͒́͒̇͛̄̂̈̏͘ͅu̷̧̝̻̠̼͊̑̋̈͂͑̒̈̈̉̄̅̒͐̾̚͠ ̸̡̛̲͚͍͇̟͔͙͍̠̾̄̈́͌̐̃̆͛̄̃͐̊̎̚ş̶͎̥̦̽͒͌́̅̀̌̉ͅͅe̸̺͇̠̯̞̝̓͂̐̈́̓̃́̈́̍͗̓̅͊̀̓̚ę̶̪̠̲̯̜̘͆͌̉̉̓́͗̐̈̋̕̚͝k̵̨̢̹̗͎̩̬̗̗̙͕̦̥̮͖̼͙̭͎̐̂̑̿͌͑̈́̔̅͝?̴̱̪̀̏̔̈̌̅"

I know it's been a while since I've posted anything. Between a new job and some health issues, my stamina has been pretty much shot. But humor finally prevails!

Said job, by the way, is doing legal transcription, which I kind of got into by accident (long story). Most of the time it's fine, but every now and then my work involves a witness that's obnoxious or uncooperative. Though thankfully nothing like this (yet).

Saturday, January 10, 2026

Prescription Ponies

Toy pony-shaped pill bottles for kids Make medication fun with Prescription Ponies! Collect them all! by Dilettante Co. Lily Levothyroxine, Sparkle Cephalexin, Meadow Montelukast, Dreamy Amphetamine

I'm sure nothing bad can come of making pony-shaped pill bottles.

Friday, January 2, 2026

Fangs For Your Service

Why vampires usually aren't allowed in the military: -It's time to wake up and do roll call, but the vampire recruit was up all night. "Dang it, private! I told you not to stay up all night!" -A sergeant in the army reminds the soldiers that once again, blood will not be included in the rations, to the resident vampire's disappointment. "Despite frequent requests, blood will not be included in the rations." "Aww!" -A vampire is forcefully evicted from the medical tent. -Some prisoners of war are dismayed to find that the enemy officer in charge is a vampire, and is barely resisting taking advantage of them. "This is against the Geneva Convention!"

War is already complicated enough.

This comic was originally drawn specifically for my book, Don't B Negative. If you need more crazy vampires in your life, check it out!

Saturday, December 27, 2025

A Merry Little Anachronism

Christmas reindeer gather around Baby Jesus at the manger, to Mary and Joseph's concern

An extra helping of friendly beasts for the manger!

Thursday, December 25, 2025

Digitally Festive

A Christmas android with sparkling lights

Got to get into the spirit one way or another. Merry Christmas!

Saturday, December 13, 2025

ChristMace

Warrior decorates the end of his mace to look like a Christmas ornament (Christmace) The most festive of weapons: Merry ChristMace!!!

Have you noticed that the various mace head designs could easily pass as Christmas tree ornaments? Well, you have now.

Saturday, November 29, 2025

Different Breed

Werewolves are banned from entering the dog show. A werewolf walking a second werewolf on a leash. Official: The rules don't allow for this. Bystander: You put your brother on a leash?

Just your everyday werewolf shenanigans.

Friday, November 14, 2025

Schrodinger's Romance

A cat's new boyfriend is Schrodinger's cat. Other cat: You know, I'm not convinced you have a boyfriend. Cat: No, he's real! Probably. She sits next to a box labeled "Property of Schrodinger"

To both have and have not a boyfriend...

Friday, November 7, 2025

The Sand of Sea-lence

"Hello sharkness, my old friend..." song by Seahorse and Garfunkelp, a Sound of Silence by Simon and Garfunkel parody with a fish and shark underwater

More bad puns, brought to you by a music nerd.

Friday, October 31, 2025

Witch Way Holiday

A group of witches are flying through the Halloween night sky on broomsticks. Witch: Halloween! At last, our most beloved holiday! Mavis: Technically, my favorite is Saint Patrick's Day. Witch: Not now, Mavis.

To be fair, both have Irish origins.

Anyway, happy Halloween!

Monday, October 20, 2025

Iris Osiris

An Egyptian eye with images of Osiris in the iris - Os-Iris

One of my dumber jokes, but here you go.

Friday, October 10, 2025

Light It Up

Thanatos: You know, it would be cool if-- Hel: I'm not putting an LED light in my eye socket. Thanatos: But it would look so cool. Hel: For the 8000th time, I said no. Thanatos: It would be enlightening! Hel: Still no.

If he gets rejected another 2000 times, he gets a free doughnut.

Saturday, October 4, 2025

Jolly Reaper

Osiris reads through a book of pirate flags. Osiris: This one? Grim Reaper: No. Osiris: This one? Grim: Nope. Osiris: What about this? Grim: Still no. Okay, I posed for this one, but that's the only one. He points at a picture of one with a non-skeletal human on it. Osiris: Now, why don't I believe you?

Everything starts somewhere. Just not necessarily here.

Sorry I missed last week's comic update. I've been busy getting a book published!

Friday, September 19, 2025

Brown Bear

Brown bear, brown bear, have you any wool? No, I'll eat you, you poor fool. I'll munch the master and I'll crunch the dame, And I'll gulp the little boy that lives down the lane. (a grizzly bear roars at some people running away screaming)

Baa, baa, black sheep, what do you see?

I see a screaming crowd running towards me!

Friday, September 12, 2025

Bloodstoning

Vampires at a gem and mineral show keep getting bloodstones chucked at their heads. They don't get it. Vamp 1: It says here that bloodstone was believed to help stop bleeding. Vamp 2: I still don't get why people keep throwing them at our heads.

There has to be some kind of bonus achievement for causing a vampire to bleed via bloodstones.

Monday, September 8, 2025

Bactrian Halfpipe

A mouse creature uses the two humps on a bactrian camel's back as a skateboarding halfpipe

There's more than one way to use a hump.

Friday, August 29, 2025

High School Lesson #0007

Student listens to music as she studies, while chaos goes on behind her. High School Lesson #0007: Music is a great study aid.

Got to concentrate one way or another.

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