Friday, January 26, 2024

Projected Failure

It's 8:50 PM. Your group member sends you an email. The group member who was assigned to submit the report for your group assignment. The report that all of your grades hang on. The report that is due at 9:00 PM. She tells you that she can't access the website that it's supposed to be submitted on, and therefore won't be able to turn it in. She knew about this problem three hours ago. Welcome to another week in Group Project Hell.

The memories still haunt me. 

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Friday, January 19, 2024

Overly Long Plot

The evil queen is plotting an elaborate scheme to get rid of Snow White. She's so into it that she doesn't notice Snow overhearing it, grabbing a backpack, and heading for the hills. Queen: Snow White has got to go. I know! I'll throw her in a cage in the woods... ...the huntsman will need a shovel to get through there... ...I'll need to offer three turnips... ...which will cause the rope to disintigrate... ...and then I'll eat her heart! Is that a little much? Handmirror: You realize she left, like, four hours ago?

I bet that mirror wishes it could have left with Snow White instead of having to listen to that entire monologue. 

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Friday, January 12, 2024

Noble Gas Station

A car parks at a "noble gas station," featuring the elements helium, neon, argon, krypton, and xenon.

I'm very curious what kind of mileage you can get with an inert gas.  

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Friday, January 5, 2024

Snow Art

A father looks out the front window at the bare grass. Dad: We got a foot of snow last night! How could it possibly have disappeared so quickly? Mom: Have you by chance seen what the kids did in the backyard? Dad: No, why? Cut to a shot showing the backyard, with a giant Statue of Liberty made out of snow.

They needed a lot of building material. 

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Friday, December 29, 2023

New Year Loop

Some parents are awakened by a horrific sound at 5:00 AM. Kid: Happy New Year! Mother: What the... New Year's not until midnight tonight! Kid: Happy New Year, New Zealand time. I'm celebrating at midnight for every time zone, so I'll check back in an hour. Starts walking off. Father (lurching after him): I beg to differ.

I suspect that several of this family's New Year Resolutions are going to be influenced by this little incident. 

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Monday, December 25, 2023

Christmas Bop

a dog curled under a Christmas tree, bopping an ornament back and forth with its wagging tail

Merry Christmas!

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Friday, December 22, 2023

Spiritual Experience

Some people attend a Christmas Nativity pageant. At the entrance there's a sign that reads "Experience the Nativity in 3D." "It's a childrens' stage play. Isn't it 3D by default?" "Shhh..."

Just let them have this. 

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