Saturday, December 31, 2011

Year-End Bonus

Santa Claus: Are we all here  Good  Let's proceed with the business, then  Santa pours out a bag filled with cookies onto a table, surrounded by Mrs Claus, Black Pete, Knecht Ruprecht, Jack Frost, La Befana, Olentzero, Krampus, Christkind, and the Three Kings  King: Dividing up the cookies  Befana: You saved some pecan cookies this time, right  Pete: Why are Befana and the Wise Guys getting some  They don't work 'till Epiphany  Ruprecht: So they can get some before you eat them all

What, you thought Santa was going to eat all those cookies by himself?

Here, we have pictured Santa Claus, Mrs. Claus, Black Pete, the Three Kings, Christkind, Knecht Ruprecht, Jack Frost, Krampus, Olentzero, and La Befana, which all help out with Christmas one way or another.  I was tempted to add in the Yule Lads as well, but given that there are thirteen of them and my hand was cramping up, I decided not to.  Same reason for not putting in any elves or reindeer.  Don't worry, they still get cookies too. 

And it just occurred to me that it is really weird to see Christkind and Krampus in the same room.

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Trap the Halls

Four anthropomorphic cat brothers congregate in the basement, discussing The Plan to secretly look at their Christmas presents:  And remember, the eighth step squeaks  And they we can look at our presents without the parents knowing  Move out  Though it seems like we're forgetting something  Shh  Piece of cake  He opens the door, letting the pots and bells balanced on top to fall with a Bang Crash Clatter  They run back down the stairs: Oh yeah  We forgot that Dad plays dirty  Retreat

'Twas the night before Christmas, and nobody slept. 


This is a work of fiction.  Any similarity to actual cats, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Actual people, however....   *snicker*

Merry Christmas!

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Special Privileges

Santa Claus: Look, Pete  I know you love that movie  I am also aware that manipulating time is essential to our job  But warping time so you can watch The Nightmare Before Christmas 87 times in 24 hours is abusing the privilege  Black Pete sits on the sofa, watching TV: Oh, come on  It's only been 84 times so far

Here comes Santa Claus!  ...and Black Pete, a.k.a. the guy who leaves coal and switches for bad children. 

Before anyone gets on my case, I will say that I am well aware that this is not how Black Pete is traditionally portrayed (he's usually a black guy in a Renaissance-style page costume).  However, this is kind of what I imagined him as looking like before I found out otherwise, so this is what you lucky readers get stuck with.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

O Christmas Tree

Christmas tree salespeople try to sell Hades trees that are black, dead, or burning  Wait, your Underworld lord-ness  We still have more selections that would be perfect for you  Persephone: Er, should I ask  Hades: Next time, you're getting the Christmas tree  Salesperson: So if they're pagan deities, then why are they celebrating  Hades: Just give us a normal Christmas tree already

Some stereotypes are hard to overcome.
What I want to know is, why on Earth did they have a flaming Christmas tree in the first place?

Here we have Hades, Lord of the Underworld, joined by his lovely wife Persephone. 


Don't worry.  They get a happy ending:
Hades and Persephone decorate their Christmas tree

Awww..... : )

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Sleep Deprivation 101

Dog wears sock on one hand and brandishes fork with the other  Fiendish lightbulb, you shall flicker no more  I challenge you to a duel  Roommate: You're tired  Go to bed

I, of course, am a mature young adult who has never done anything like this. 

Yep. 

Stop laughing, Mom.