I Sing the Body Eclectic

I'm not into medical stuff.  I'm an artist.  I signed up for an art class.  As long as everything works, I couldn't care less about how many muscles or bones I have, and especially not about what they're all called, considering I have enough trouble remembering people's names, let alone the unpronounceable eleven-foot-long name of some two-inch-long body part that most doctors probably don't ever see either.  So you can imagine my reaction when my figure drawing teacher announced that before the semester is over we will be tested on the locations and names of the bones and muscles.  Cue a flurry of muscle diagram worksheets, impromptu quizzes featuring our resident skeleton Harry, and trying desperately to remember how many ribs we have (24), and how many curves there are in the spine (4), and how the Axis vertebrae bone connects to the Atlas vertebrae bone, and keep straight the Plantaris muscle, and the Teres Major muscle, and the Sartorius, and the Abductor Magnus, and the Semitendinosaursus, and the Brachiosauradialis, and the Gracias, and the Extensor Digimon, and the Anacondaus, and the Rhombusomthingorother Major, and the Intospaceatus, and the Diplodocus, and the Circa Necronomico͜n, and the Iseepŗe͘ttycolorus, and the Roomi̷ss̛pinning and the Darkne̕sşisclosingin҉ and the Nohop̶ènohopeatall and the Theyrecomin̴g̴totakemeaw̧a͢y and Itsallac̛onspirac̢y͝ and Cantthinkstraight and Theȩn̛disnear and Wea͠réhurtlingalongatad̢anģero͞usspeed and Alastosleeptodream and H̢e͞lp͡idontknowwh̛atsgoingon and Iamdea̷t̢h͡thed̵e͢s̶t͘ro̵ye͠rofworlds and Thereareunspeakableh̶or̛ror̸s̡helpmetheeaglesarecomingandrednothingmakesse̕ńse҉andtheresaponyintheceilingandorangetheresal҉i͢g͡htandimscaredwearedustinthewindandismellco̕l̕o҉randthequickbrownfoxjumpsoverthelazydogandyellowallislostallisl̸̴̕ǫ̧s҉t͜͜thestreetsarecurlingthecannedchihuahuasbringumbrellasforrȩv̸̕e̷̴̛n͘gę͠greennothingmakessenseh̡e̴̶̛lp̀̀͠mepleasecyancaribouinthewastebasketitstoolatemakeitstopmakeitpineapplebluestopgluestickitscomingtheyrecomingḱ̕͡a͢r̢̀kad̴͘a̵͡n͘n̛prettyprettykarkadannt̵urni͢t͢offt̛ùrnit҉o͝f́fpurp͏le͘tu̧r̡n̛itoff͝t̴̢͠h̀̀e̴͞y̛c̵͢om̡͡e̶̕ț̭͇͔̖͡h̢͚͎̳͈̘̠̳͘͘é͚̠̜̹̫y̧̘̺̲͈̣ç̦͚̭̭̤̺͔͙̀͜o̡͇̘͍m̝̜̗̠̖̩̩̕ę̫̪͖̞̖̫͉̟b̗̫̬̤̥̞̭̂̈́̈̓̐͌̊̉̚ľ̡̹͇̺̪̙̳̮̳̗̓̾́̉́̒̉͜á̡̳̞̼̙͇̝̥̣̇͂͌̈̐͢͢c͙̞̼̞̫͙̼̯̃̋k͑̿t̨̺̩̲̙͇͙͓̙͕̝̅̇̔͒͊̑ͯ͑̏͗ͭ̑ͭͩ͂̇̃ͮ́͟h̷̻̤͍̦̩̲͕̮̦̟͉̤͇͆̌̾̅ͧ̈̅̍ͮ͆͌̚͜͡͡ęͪ͌͂̍̃ͫ̑ͫͨ̄͆͏̶̮͉̠̝͎͙́͞y̡͔̗̼̩̰̝̞͐̋̈͗ͯ̅ͬ͂̃ͦ̈́̾ͯ͟c̎̎͐ͭ́̌̓̔ͭ̍̓̆̂ͦ̃ͭ̚͝͏̰̜͔̰̝͚͚͙͕̟͚̤ớ͚̮̫͕̤̲̙̼͙͕̖̣͍̝ͤͥ̎͟ͅm̶̳̤̜̬̦̱ͩ͂̔ͯ̿̈͗̔ͥ͗̂ͨ̋̈́ͧͣ̅́̚ͅe̙͚͍̮̯͉̣̝͓̫͉̙̾̇̇ͮ̂̅͊ͯ̿̅ͥ̄ͯ̿ͪ͟ͅͅ


*gasp*

*sigh*

*straightens glasses*



...Why are you all looking at me like that?


P.S.  I had some people asking, so just to clarify:  that diagram is of the muscles on the back of a human head and shoulders.  The Sternocleidomastoid is a muscle on the side of the neck.