Friday, January 24, 2020

The Science Project's Revenge

A poster board display for an elementary school science fair project:  Title:  Too Much of a Good Thing?  Name:  Mindy Jamison, grade 3  Question:  How much fertilizer can a plant take before it kills it?  Hypothesis:  I can kill my brother's obnoxious cactus with fertilizer.  (for science, of course) (HATE that thing)  Materials:  Dumb cactus, Mom's begonia (as control group), 2 bags of Jerry's Five-Way Fertilizer, water  Procedure:  Stuck plant in a bucket of fertilizer.  Added more fertilizer and water daily for two weeks.  Result:  The cactus now occupies the entire house.  (Should have just used a machete to begin with.  Cut the formalities.)  Conclusion:  Either the plant is an alien species bent on world domination, or this particular brand of fertilizer is going to make a fortune.  (It won this battle.  It will not win the war.)

There have been many instances of science providing a good excuse for revenge.  There have also been many instances of the science experiments turning against the scientist.  Just glance over a random 1950's sci-fi movie and you'll probably find a plot built around that.

Isn't it great that little Mindy learned this so early in her career?  I'm sure she'll grow up to be a great mad scientist! 

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