Friday, April 30, 2021

Tumbleweed Graveyard

Some hikers are overjoyed.  At last!  After years of searching, the legendary tumbleweed graveyard!

 There's several different kinds of tumbleweed.  The ones where I live are actually very civil, providing amusement for motorists before wandering off to the foothills.  Meanwhile, the ones in the rest of the country are far less considerate, burying houses and having the nerve to have spikes.  And are also an invasive species, which doesn't exactly improve relations. 

Friday, April 23, 2021

Friday, April 16, 2021

Nose Mythology

Student:  While not featured as prominently as eyes or hands, noses have played key roles in myths around the globe.  For example, the Guarani people of central South America worshiped Abaangui, who cut off his nose and threw it into the sky, where it became the moon.  In Japanese mythology, Susanoo, the god of storms, was born when the creator god washed his nose.  This was-  Teacher:  Hold up.  What exactly is your report on?  Student:  "Nose mythology."  It was on your list of topics we could pick from.  The teacher looks over the list, and then slumps face-down on his desk.  Student (glancing around nervously):  Unless it was supposed to be Norse mythology...  Teacher:  Curse you, perfectly-spelled typo!  Other student:  So, about my report on "the pantheon of Ancient Grease"...

 Spell-check fails us once again.  

And if you were wondering, yes, those are real myths.  Among others.  Yes, there are other nose-related myths.  You have been enlightened. 

Friday, April 9, 2021

Melodic With a Chance of Bricks

Professor:  Today the school choir has joined us to play through the "chance music" pieces you wrote.  Jake, let's start with you.  Jake:  My piece is entitled "Imminent Head Trauma."  Professor (passing out the sheet music):  And what aspect of chance did you incorporate into the piece?  Jake:  I'll be throwing bricks at the performers.  The chance is the sounds they make as they try to get out of the way.  Professor:  Ah.  Very good.  The performers look extremely concerned.  Professor:  Let's start from the top.  Behind her, Jake prepares to throw the first brick.

 "Chance Music" (also known as "Aleatoric music," from the Latin word alea, meaning "dice") is music either written or performed with elements of chance.  For example, a song written with the notes chosen by the roll of the dice, or one that includes a drawing of a tree in the sheet music, with the performers improvising based on what they think that should sound like.  When learning about it back in my college musicianship classes, my teacher asked us to list a few ways a few ways chance music could be written.  I was sorely tempted to write this one down, but restrained myself. 

Friday, April 2, 2021