Polar Opposition

One more Christmas comic for the year, courtesy of Black Pete. 
To be fair, I know several people who'd also do this if given the chance, which may or may not include myself. 

Night of Lights

Christmas fills the world with magic.  Though unicorns help. 

Pressing Needs

It doesn't have to be in a package to be a gift. 
But seriously, don't intentionally leave expired food for Santa to clean up.  That's just pushing it, and can put both your health and your place on the "Nice List" at risk. 

Fill-in-the-Blank

In movieland, Santa (who apparently equals Christmas) has had to be rescued so many times that it's a wonder he's still alive, or at least doesn't have better insurance. 

Deck the Everything

Essentially what happened last year when one of my Grandpas accidentally unleashed my sisters upon his house.  Not even the refrigerator was spared. 

Yeah, okay.  So I contributed.  Do you blame me?

Holly's Hallelujah

Back in my university music history classes, we once talked about hockets, and the thought of someone named "Holly Hocket" amused me.  I designed a character to go with the name, along with a few friends with similarly-themed names.  Later, a Christmas story evolved from this.  And thus I give you:

I'll be adding a page a day to this post until Christmas Eve, so make sure to check back!  It can also be read on DeviantArt, where pages are spread out but include additional footnotes should you enjoy backstory.  I've also written music to go with it (as you can guess from the cover, music is important to the story), which is available on Bandcamp.  So read, enjoy, and have a merry Christmas!

Clean Out of Options

The manager is a nice lady who knows everyone's names and brings you a cookie when you're having a bad day.  The assistant manager will give you a bad day.

Dishing It Out

When passive hints don't get the message across, roommates start getting aggressive. 

Manna, or Something

Goats have their own ways of celebrating autumn. 

Out of the Bag

There is only room in this neighborhood for one crazy cat lady, for that is the natural order of things.  Unless another emerges victorious, there won't be a neighborhood left. 
We need a hero.  

Your Permanent Record

Learn in this life so you don't have to learn in the next one.  And also so you can continue having this life.

This is the final Deities of Death cartoon for the year, so I wish you a happy Halloween, along with the hope that you never run into Sedna and Thanatos under these (or any) circumstances. 

Packed and Ready

Some people try to bargain with death.  And some guys care more about punctuality.  Not really sure which group needs their priorities straightened out. 

Security Measures

If you want to sell Tupperware in the underworld, you have to go through Hel first. 

Hel is joined by Baldr and his wife, Nanna, both of whom got booted down to her domain following a certain unfortunate incident involving Hel's father.  Actually, it's Loki's fault that all three are stuck down there, so ripping on him at every opportunity is free game. 

Cerberus Satellite

He may be an immortal three-headed dog, but he still has to suffer the consequences of trying to chase the Nemean Lion up a tree. 

October is here again, and with it the annual Deities of Death marathon.  Rejoice! 
...or something.

Figure Drawing Fortune

Thankfully, the art department had a large number of models, so I think I only ran into him under these circumstances once.  But it was small consolation, given that he still dropped by my apartment to visit my roommate.

High School Lesson #5494

Clark Valley prepared for their match against Westpoint High in all the wrong ways. 

Dog Floating

At least he can't chase squirrels now.

A Truncated Offer

Helpful Hint:  If people can't tell if you're joking or not, you probably shouldn't be joking.

When the Flowers Talk

Some fun facts about the corpse lily:
Its scientific name is Raffelsia arnoldii.
It's the largest single flower in the world, reaching over 3 feet in diameter and 24 pounds.
It's a parasite, with the flower being the only visible part outside of the host plant.
It's one of the three national flowers of Indonesia, where it is a protected species.
And most importantly, it smells like rotting meat.  Though you probably already guessed that.

Being a Library Page

This requires explanation. 
Last Saturday I decided to challenge myself.  I heard about this thing called the 24-Hour Comic Challenge, which is to create a 24-page comic book entirely within 24 hours.  No physical work on it can be done ahead of time (except maybe gathering reference photos and drawing supplies), and once the clock starts it doesn't stop even for breaks.  It's kind of a big deal if you can finish it, since even professionals have trouble completing the challenge, and it sounded like the sort of thing that would help me as a cartoonist, even if I didn't succeed on my first attempt.  The only problem is that my work schedule is not particularly conductive to this sort of thing (technically I have the weekend off, but I don't think my bishop would be amused if I fell asleep halfway through playing the organ on Sunday).  But a 12-hour version of the challenge?  That I could work with.  So I did.  And I conquered!  
It's hardly my best work ever, consisting mostly of sketchy line drawings.  But for what it is, I'm pretty proud of it.  So I now present my 12-page, mostly autobiographical depiction of a typical day working a job with a pun-y title:

Refined Young Ladies

Promoting indesputable elegance while braining bloodsucking fiends. 
Pearl probably wasn't accepted here. 

The Princess Apparent

A good princess can't stay hidden for long.  The local wildlife won't permit it.

Note:  Proper colors will arrive shortly, unless a fairy godmother or something finishes it before you read this, in which case disregard this message.

Edit:   This comic has magically been bestowed color.  Whether or not a fairy godmother had anything to do with it shall be left ambiguous. 

Tipping Point

Chaos of the messy kind will descend in three... two...

Soggy Story

Probably should have put a warning label on that thing, or something.

Funnily enough, my town got hit by some flooding right after I started drawing this.  As far as I know, neither is related to the other except by coincidence.
Probably.

Sirius-ly

I painted this a while back, and decided to post it because why not?  We all need some happy, colorful space puppies in our lives, right?

Astronomical Robotics Titles

What, you thought I was joking?
It should be interesting to see what kind of press the "JUpiter ICy moons Explorer" gets once it's launched (scheduled for 2022). 

Water and Flame

A handy diagram of how geysers work. 

Mental Dental

I actually overheard that first comment directed at some mystery patient during a dentist appointment.  I think it was a joke.  Probably.  Maybe. 

Noah's Archive

And they haven't even gotten through the first forty days yet, though I supposed it could be worse.  At least it's not "Pollo Polo."
Now, place your bets on how long it takes before someone comes up with "Cricket Cricket."

Fair Enough

If you think you can ask an all-knowing magic mirror the exact same question every single day without it getting snarky, you're just kidding yourself.

Color will arrive at some point in the future, once I gain some of that mythical thing called "sleep."  Guess I need to eat more apples.

UPDATE:  There is now color, and while I don't know whether or not it is now considered fairer in comic terms, it's at least a lot prettier. 

Zebrano Forte

I'm actually quite clueless as to the musicality level of zebras, but I'm too tired to research it right now.

Last Night of School

It's bad enough that merely glancing away will cause the chalkboard to recollect its prior mess. 

No matter how joyous the occasion, there's always that one teacher who ruins the fun.  Whether or not the fun deserves to be ruined is something we won't go into right now.

Lasercat

Green fluorescent cats are already a thing, so it's only a matter of time before this happens.  Hopefully the consequences won't be... catastrophic. 

I'll see myself out. 

Everyone Understands

Dashing through the halls
In a worn-out pair of shoes
I've little left to win
And everything to lose
I know I'm running late
It's ten seconds to eight
I run into the classroom where
Ms. Jones decrees my fate.

Oh, finals week, finals week
Judgment day is here
Sleepless nights proliferate
This dreaded time of year
Finals week, finals week
The outcome's pretty clear
Try to run, but can't escape
The student's greatest fear.

A Slight Miscalculation

And now for something a little different...
Back in high school I wrote a short story.  I never really planned to do anything more with it, but then a couple years later I had the idea of turning it into a comic. 
I... really didn't know what I was getting myself into.
So, many years and tears (and possibly Tears for Fears) after its initial creation, along with a few bajillion edits, I am finally proud to present:

 

Herein is the story of an average guy... who's a well-intentioned extremist, rules twelve planets, commands an army of cyborg lizardmen, has a snarky son to deal with, and may need to lighten up.  You can also read it here.

Also, I wrote a soundtrack of sorts to go with it, so you can listen to that here.

And now... the rest of the story!

Inappropriate Appropriation

College textbooks make for effective barricades/ballast/weights/improvised thrown weaponry. 

High School Lesson #1731

I'm sure the Economics teacher could have fun with this one, if he's not already contributing to the chaos. 

Octogenerian

Some superheroes get their powers in nuclear accidents.  Others get them from health care procedures. 


It's fun to watch criminals squirm when they have to explain that they got taken down by an old guy with a walker. 

Homophone Spelling Bee

This will be followed up by "raze."  Sentence: "They razed the flag."  Definition: "The opposite of 'raise.'"  Good luck. 

The Depriver of Happiness

O Sugar, Sugar! wherefore art thou Sugar?
Deny thy sugar and refuse thy sugar!
Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my sugar,
And I'll no longer be a sugar.
'Tis but thy sugar that is my sugar.
Thou art thyself, though not a Sugar.
What's Sugar? it is nor sugar, nor sugar,
Nor sugar, nor sugar, nor any other sugar
Belonging to a sugar. O, be some other sugar!
What's in a sugar? That which we call a sugar
By any other name would taste as sweet.
So Sugar would, were it not Sugar call'd,
Retain that dear sugar which it owes
Without that title. Sugar, doff thy name;
And for that sugar, which is no part of thee,
Take all myself.
Sugar sugar sugar sugar sugar sugar.



It's been a long week, okay?

First Moon of Spring

 

Given that the date Easter falls on is directly determined by the full moon, werewolves were going to get involved sooner or later. 

Betting a Spring

Easter is certain.  Spring is not. 

Bansheep

The time of year to celebrate St. Patrick's Day and all things Irish has rolled around again.  Most people would pay homage to this with leprechauns or shamrocks.  Instead I inflict this on the world.  If you hear any wailing, it might be a banshee, or it might be someone reacting to me making yet another bad pun.  I regret nothing. 

Fawn-y Business

 

The years have not erased the pain from all those hours spent suffering through the Nick Jr. programming my kid sister inflicted on me. 

Fuzzy Understanding

Given that all stuffed animals are effectively immortal and can subsist purely on love, cuddles, and the occasional invisible cookie, I'm pretty sure the need for one to become a vampire would be superfluous anyway. 


P.S.  On a completely unrelated note, I finished the RPM Challenge for the year (huzzah!), and you can listen to the finished product here. 

Laundry Love

Please tell me I'm not the only one who's done this.

High School Lesson #4681

I don't think I ever really knew who anyone in the student government at my high school was.  Or what they did.  Did they actually do anything, or was it all just an excuse to put up funny election posters?

Lipstuck

I drew this a couple weeks back because it amused me, and I'm posting it now because I'm too tired to think of anything else.  Also, there's apparently some sort of holiday coming up that has to do with kissing (not the one with mistletoe, the other one), so it's somewhat relevant.  Ish. 

The Last Gift of Christmas

If you want, you can consider Candlemas (February 2nd) to be the lattermost end of the Christmas season.  You can even keep some of your decorations up until then.  But leaving up your Christmas tree is generally not recommended, particularly if you're the kind of person who puts it up at the beginning of December. 

Averaged Out

Normal is subjective.  But it still probably shouldn't involve flying blades. 

Lucky Me

Based on an incident that happened last summer, courtesy of the local cats.  The cream one is Chandelier, the black one is Comet, the gray one is Bear, and the brown one is Lady Nimbus, Duchess of Floof. 

Highway Hazards

You've all heard it.  Intros cut.  Outros cut.  Bridges and interludes cut.  DJs talking over the music right up until the vocals come in.  Apparently someone thinks that listeners have the attention spans of fruit flies and can't handle anything that's instrumental or is over four minutes in length.  Oddly enough, "American Pie" is over eight minutes long, but has been spared the ignominy of the radio edit. 
Anyway.  A thousand shames on the heads of those responsible.  May the uncut version of "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" haunt your dreams forevermore. 

Neptune Knights

 

It had to happen eventually. 
All we need now are unicorns jousting while riding narwhals.  Or possibly triceratops, if I can come up with a good absurd enough explanation for why or how on earth a situation like that would come up.  I'll leave it to your judgment to decide whether I meant unicorns riding triceratops or triceratops riding narwhals. 

Music of Starlight

Some of you who have been reading my comics for while might have noticed that I failed to post a Christmas Day animation like I have in past years, and may have wondered if I forgot.  I didn't.  Due to a number of conflicts, it was only half-done by the 25th, so a postponement was deemed necessary.  And since the ninth day of Christmas is traditionally associated with ladies dancing, I figured that today was an appropriate time to post it.  So here it is!  Merry (ninth day of) Christmas, and a happy New Year!